Monday, November 15, 2010

One's Word

I was raised to be a person who's word meant everything. It takes a lot from me if the time comes when I cannot do what I thought I could do. For instance my mother lived with me, she had MS and for 17 years her disability in many ways defined both of our lives. I was her caretaker and we were best friends. I promised her I would not ever leave her, yet a time came when her illness took a turn for the worse and it was dangerous for her to be left alone. There were no options for I had to work or we would have had no roof over our head. She could not be alone for the 10 to 12 hours I was at work. So after a lengthy stay between the hospital and rehab she made the decision for both of us and went into assisted living. To this day 10 years later I still hurt over not being able to keep her with me. I know it was the best for her and I know she was happy in assisted living. Yet I still feel in some ways I failed her. To this day when circumstances force me to take steps other than those I believed I would take in the beginning, it takes its toll on me. I will always miss her. Yet this lesson has taught me to let go when things are at the point that I cannot save the situation be a job or a relationship.

2 comments:

  1. This is a very touching blog. I know many people have been faced with a very similar situation. No one can foretell the future or know what life will give to us or what circumstances will be at any given point in time. I think what really means the most is what you truly believed you could do and where your heart was -- then and now in the right place. Great words -- simple, honest, and loving. <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Lisette your understanding of what I wrote from my heart means the world to me. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete

"Another great installment in the Dark Knights of Heaven." His Soul to Save (Dark Knights of Heaven Book 3) by TW Knight

Soulless and exiled from Heaven the Dark Knights have spent millennia protecting humanity from Lucifer and his demons. But the longer they l...